I realize I have been neglecting the blog, but due to recent events, I felt the need to give some much needed attention. I feel the need to reiterate the purpose of this blog; it is two women's quest to find love in a new dating age on the west side of the U.S. (aka... Seattle).
Let me say or type: Lil and I are not ugly, socially inept, stupid, or afraid of much of anything. For the most part we are pretty open minded, have various hobbies that keep us well beyond busy, aren't married to our jobs, have lots of friends, and will try anything once. Our personalities, while very different, have commonalities that are staples when described by men of qualities desired in a woman; sass, intelligence, compassion, independance, inner beauty (we aren't talking in 'personal ad' terms on this one... don't go there.. while I might be a smart ass, I'm trying to be slightly serious here), just to name a few, and not necessarily in that order (while some of you might like a sass... not many of you can actually handle one).
I've been on my share of dates, and will be the first to admit: I don't like dating. I don't think of it as much more than an interview, but one that actually threatens to attack your self-esteem. Granted, some women look at them as an opportunity; one for a free dinner/drink, one for a new friend, one for a possible mate/boyfriend/significant other. Since none of these have been the outcome of any date I've experienced, I tend to look at them with slightly jaded goggles. While I realize that there are times when I get totally giddy about dates with guys, these tend to be the ones that I get myself so worked up about beforehand, that I want to call and cancel about five minutes before they show up... this is because they are usually hot.
Now, before you get on your soap box and talk about how you can't judge someone on looks or you should have an open mind or give it a chance, you never know... I am the queen of telling these specific cliches to my girlfriends. I would like to put out there that while I may at one point have been a bit closed minded... I have adjusted my ways to allow for error. This, however, does not detract from the most recent event: we'll call it Chair 2 Boy.
Those of you who have a passion for outdoor activities will know the "single" callout of the chairlift line. For those of you who don't, here's a small introduction with a KT twist: lets say you go up to the mountain for a day with the girls, but your numbers are uneven... this is not a problem, until you get to the double chairs. One of the group must share with a stranger, which is not a big deal... unless the dude is totally hot (we have yet to get a single girl on the chair... mostly because we ride the double black diamond and there aren't that many girls up there with just girls) because then there is the possiblility of having verbal vomit or the complete opposite: nonverbal freeze.
Rewind three weeks. Lil, KT, and M go up and play in the snow. KT's turn to be single, but is too cool to call out "single" as she fully bails into the lift line.. so a guy calls out and she answers (life would be so much easier this way)... they chat on the way up (mind you they are in full snow gear (hat, goggles, big coats/pants...) OH! I forgot the part where KT totally bites it in the lift line.. while not moving... anywhooooo... KT can tell this guy thinks she's pretty adorable especially since he still waits for her at the top after she's bailed in line, then again off the lift and is not-so-gracefully attempting to traverse the massive traffic that comes off the chair... Ok. to make a long story short, the guy asks her out the next week in the lift line (after he does it there is a slight murmur through the crowd: wow, I can't belive that guy had the balls to do that... that's a good idea... huh?) gives her his card.. they make plans to go out...
Don't get me wrong here... he had nice eyes. I do remember that. I also remember that he was not a talker.... but more laughed at my stupid questions/stories... etc.
Ok. This is getting a little long so.... eventually we went on a date. He asked me, he picked the place, at the end of the date: there was a DISCUSSION about the bill. "Soooooo how do you want to do this...?" Seriously? Wow. Ok.
I will say this: I'm all for the women's movement. I make my own money. I will buy a drink for a guy, I will pay for a date if I ask.... but, if you ask you pay. Dates after that can be dutch... there is no need to have to keep the facade up.... we all know the drill.
Now, I have a lot of guy friends. All of them have told me that guys just want to get laid. Period. Girls, I've been told, think about things too much. Want relationships based on things that aren't necessarily important to guys.
What is it that is so backasswards about how men and women think. I'd really like to know. Seriously. Is it really that men are hunters/ need to spread their seed/ conquer --whatever? Is it really because women like to nuture things, coddle, relate.. talk
I was explaining to a friend of mine what I was looking for in a guy and its really not a lot to ask for. A friend.. that I want to sleep with.. basically: without the threat of disease... or EW! or feeling like I need to look like a pinup girl. A guy that is basically me, but can make decisions, is better at being a guy, that can put me in my place without being condescending, can be a guy's guy without being a meathead, wants to travel, is independant without being absent, isn't married to his job, has his own life without keeping me sheltered from it... isn't afraid of me -- I have a problem with that. How do I find this without having to look for it, or date people that I know aren't him for the sheer purpose of "making friends" as people like to call it, or just to give someone a chance. Usually I've talked to this guy enough before we make plans to know what I'm getting into, so its not like I don't know for sure if there is chemistry...
I guess I'm just wondering if guys have gotten lazy.. or what. Have guys gotten used to being pursued?