I realize I have been neglecting the blog, but due to recent events, I felt the need to give some much needed attention. I feel the need to reiterate the purpose of this blog; it is two women's quest to find love in a new dating age on the west side of the U.S. (aka... Seattle).

Let me say or type: Lil and I are not ugly, socially inept, stupid, or afraid of much of anything. For the most part we are pretty open minded, have various hobbies that keep us well beyond busy, aren't married to our jobs, have lots of friends, and will try anything once. Our personalities, while very different, have commonalities that are staples when described by men of qualities desired in a woman; sass, intelligence, compassion, independance, inner beauty (we aren't talking in 'personal ad' terms on this one... don't go there.. while I might be a smart ass, I'm trying to be slightly serious here), just to name a few, and not necessarily in that order (while some of you might like a sass... not many of you can actually handle one).

I've been on my share of dates, and will be the first to admit: I don't like dating. I don't think of it as much more than an interview, but one that actually threatens to attack your self-esteem. Granted, some women look at them as an opportunity; one for a free dinner/drink, one for a new friend, one for a possible mate/boyfriend/significant other. Since none of these have been the outcome of any date I've experienced, I tend to look at them with slightly jaded goggles. While I realize that there are times when I get totally giddy about dates with guys, these tend to be the ones that I get myself so worked up about beforehand, that I want to call and cancel about five minutes before they show up... this is because they are usually hot.

Now, before you get on your soap box and talk about how you can't judge someone on looks or you should have an open mind or give it a chance, you never know... I am the queen of telling these specific cliches to my girlfriends. I would like to put out there that while I may at one point have been a bit closed minded... I have adjusted my ways to allow for error. This, however, does not detract from the most recent event: we'll call it Chair 2 Boy.

Those of you who have a passion for outdoor activities will know the "single" callout of the chairlift line. For those of you who don't, here's a small introduction with a KT twist: lets say you go up to the mountain for a day with the girls, but your numbers are uneven... this is not a problem, until you get to the double chairs. One of the group must share with a stranger, which is not a big deal... unless the dude is totally hot (we have yet to get a single girl on the chair... mostly because we ride the double black diamond and there aren't that many girls up there with just girls) because then there is the possiblility of having verbal vomit or the complete opposite: nonverbal freeze.

Rewind three weeks. Lil, KT, and M go up and play in the snow. KT's turn to be single, but is too cool to call out "single" as she fully bails into the lift line.. so a guy calls out and she answers (life would be so much easier this way)... they chat on the way up (mind you they are in full snow gear (hat, goggles, big coats/pants...) OH! I forgot the part where KT totally bites it in the lift line.. while not moving... anywhooooo... KT can tell this guy thinks she's pretty adorable especially since he still waits for her at the top after she's bailed in line, then again off the lift and is not-so-gracefully attempting to traverse the massive traffic that comes off the chair... Ok. to make a long story short, the guy asks her out the next week in the lift line (after he does it there is a slight murmur through the crowd: wow, I can't belive that guy had the balls to do that... that's a good idea... huh?) gives her his card.. they make plans to go out...

Don't get me wrong here... he had nice eyes. I do remember that. I also remember that he was not a talker.... but more laughed at my stupid questions/stories... etc.

Ok. This is getting a little long so.... eventually we went on a date. He asked me, he picked the place, at the end of the date: there was a DISCUSSION about the bill. "Soooooo how do you want to do this...?" Seriously? Wow. Ok.

I will say this: I'm all for the women's movement. I make my own money. I will buy a drink for a guy, I will pay for a date if I ask.... but, if you ask you pay. Dates after that can be dutch... there is no need to have to keep the facade up.... we all know the drill.

Now, I have a lot of guy friends. All of them have told me that guys just want to get laid. Period. Girls, I've been told, think about things too much. Want relationships based on things that aren't necessarily important to guys.

What is it that is so backasswards about how men and women think. I'd really like to know. Seriously. Is it really that men are hunters/ need to spread their seed/ conquer --whatever? Is it really because women like to nuture things, coddle, relate.. talk I mean, have we really started a women's movement where there are all the elements for a level playing field but we aren't equipped with the correct hormones?

I was explaining to a friend of mine what I was looking for in a guy and its really not a lot to ask for. A friend.. that I want to sleep with.. basically: without the threat of disease... or EW! or feeling like I need to look like a pinup girl. A guy that is basically me, but can make decisions, is better at being a guy, that can put me in my place without being condescending, can be a guy's guy without being a meathead, wants to travel, is independant without being absent, isn't married to his job, has his own life without keeping me sheltered from it... isn't afraid of me -- I have a problem with that. How do I find this without having to look for it, or date people that I know aren't him for the sheer purpose of "making friends" as people like to call it, or just to give someone a chance. Usually I've talked to this guy enough before we make plans to know what I'm getting into, so its not like I don't know for sure if there is chemistry...

I guess I'm just wondering if guys have gotten lazy.. or what. Have guys gotten used to being pursued?

I'm getting tired of playing this game.

I'd like one of you men out there to answer me this. What exactly is it that we women do that scares you away so much or makes it so that you won't even tell us what you are really thinking? I mean come on, don't we at least deserve that? Perfect example. I met a guy a few weeks back and we hung out last week, had a great date and I thought everything was going well. Then I go away for a couple days, call him when I get home, and NEVER hear back from him? Are there some signs that I just don't see? Can someone, PLEASE fill me in on what they are? I'd really like to know. Cause this lilwaldo is growing tired of the bullshit called dating. Someone, enlighten us, kindly!

Desperate invitations.

Ok. So apparently there is something about me, yes me. Though I really have no idea what exactly it is. So, KT and I had a fabulous time in Whistler. She rode her first bowl (no - that is not a misprint - this is the snow kind of bowl, not the weed kind) and I, well I spent a lot of time in some great powder and had an incredible time. And, there were a few humorous stories from there, but they are mainly KT's so I will let her tell them..... I however, had an interesting experience in Vegas (I know, not shocking, but I have to share!!!).

On Friday night I was returning to my hotel to change before dinner. I got on the elevator and I kind of noticed (but not really) that there was another chap riding up with me. I was so exhausted from being at the tradeshow all day that I truly was not paying attention. We both got off at the same floor and started walking down the same hallway. When he stopped at his room I kind of got confused as to where I was and turned to put my key in the room across from his (which wasn't really mine) and then quickly realized my mistake, and we both laughed it off. He went into his room and I continued on to mine, not thinking much about it.

Fast forward to a couple hours when I return back to my room. I am just hanging out when the phone rings:

Lil: Hello?
MysteryVoice: Yes, is this room xxxxxxxx
Lil: Yes. (At this point I'm thinking it must be one of the guys I'm traveling with)
MysteryVoice: Hi, this is the guy from across the hall. . . .
Lil: Huh?
MysterVoice: You know, the guy from when you went to go into the wrong room....
Lil: Uhhhh, ok?!?! (I'm very confused at this point)
MysteryVoice: So, I was just wondering, you up for going and getting a drink with me? You really caught my eye.
Lil: Uhhhh - sorry I have plans (click - I hang up)

WHO the fuck are these guys?!?!!?! Do they really think that I'm that desperate (and seriously KT if I ever become that desperate smack me upside the head) and are they really that desperate for some ass? I completely freaked out and called some friends, one of who assured me I didn't have to worry because if he really wanted some action he could easily find a hooker. However, it still begs the question, would some other woman have met up with him? I know this guy has some serious balls for doing this, but god, I sure hope to hell that I am never so desperate that I have to accept the invitation.

My latest theory

So I'm sure you all know by this time that I have many, many, MANY theories on men. This next one roots from very similar experiences KT and I have been having - men come into our lives, hang around for a while, get us all excited, and then, for some UNKNOWN reason (unknown to us that is) they dissappear, for an indefinite amount of time. However - this time, for both of us, it was pretty much one month - almost to the date. Now my man, I heard through the grapevine, was afraid of becoming to "boyfriendy" with me - and rather than talk about it, he split. Pretty much the same situation for KT - however, we also heard another theory (from a good guy friend of ours) that maybe these "men" (and I use that term lightly) had met up with someone else and wanted to test the waters there first. Then, when they didn't work out, they come crawling back to the good thing they briefly had. . . . Now, I'm not blaming them - lord knows I freak out sometimes too, but generally, as a rule, I do my best to communicate my freak outs so that we can both be on the same page, rather than just bailing entirely and hoping that I haven't burnt my bridges so badly that I can find a way back.

Men really are more complicated than they believe - though I do agree with many of them that its women's interpretations of what we THINK men mean that can really complicate matters.

Anyways, that is it for now. I do apologize for the sparse commentary lately - The KT and Lil show has temporarily been split between coasts (due to my family living back east) but it will resume again - and we are headed away on vacation and will report from there. Hopefully, some good times will be had and considering the fact that I am to be involved, there will be a debacle or two. I just sure hope this time it doesn't include broken fingers, strange sex requests, or men in pink polos!

Cheers!!!

Psycho?

There are plenty of women and men out there that have had 'stalkers' or someone who has gone 'psycho' on them. For example, a friend of mine -- we'll call her Sasslino for her sassiness-- recently wrote about this guy she met who was really into her, but she wasn't that into him. So, she tried to let him down easily, and he is still holding out for her.

Now, in her description of him, she calls him psycho; I pose this question: Is he psycho, or is he merely trying to be romantic?

There are countless books and movies dedicated to the relationship between two people where the chemistry is evident, but one of the parties is reluctant to commit, or seems uninterested, or they even hate each other at the beginning only to find out what they have in common at the end.

Now, I know, I know.... these are fictional tales. But think about it. How many times in your life have you had an experience with someone who thought another was psycho? How many times have you heard a story about how someone who has broken things off with another person only to have that rejected person try to get them back? In stories, this is romantic. In real life... psycho.

Answer me this: when is someone psycho, and when are they just being romantic?

Wednesday Report

Ok - so due to my birthday festitivities this week - our weekly Wednesday night outting was delayed until Thursday. Which was perfectly fine with me because we got to see Marmalade (my favorite local funk band - the lead singers name is actually, Funk), and they always put me in a good mood (particularly since they sang their birthday song, and that just made it even better). . . Anyways, while at the show there was a very interesting couple. They had to have been in their late 50's and their style of dancing was nothing short of unique - actually it was borderline insane. The worst part of it, was that this couple was not stop making out - and the old dude was just creepy. Which mainly re-affirmed my belief that PDA, in some formats, really is just NOT ok. Holding hands, dancing, and the occasionaly kiss, is a-ok. However - making out at a funk show - not ok. Old people gropping eachother - DEFINITELY not ok. Just had to share. I love seeing cute old couples that have been happily married for years. However, I do NOT love seeing old people that are ampin' themselves up for their late night festitivities. Something, for good reason, should remain in the bedroom. So please, keep them there - and that goes out to you young girls in mini skirts. I don't want to see your bedroom habits on the dance floor either. Ok!? Agreed?! good.

Is There Such a Thing as Timing?

At a recent dinner party for a friend's birthday, we were discussing past relationships gone wrong with members of the opposite sex (really only one who is an educated, mature, handsome, professional member of society). When one person brought up someone who has been an integral part of her life; the person who understands, respects, and loves her unconditionally; the question was posed: So, what's wrong with him? Why don't you go after him? And I chimed in: "Because the timing is off."

The educated, mature, handsome, professional member of society scoffed. Ew, I thought to myself. Why did he just scoff at that? Its true isn't it? There is such a thing as timing...right?

I think everyone has a person like this. Somewhere in their history, where if the circumstances had been different, or the logistics changed; the outcome of the relationship would have been different. It would have happened, or it wouldn't have scared you so much. When you weren't both traveling in different directions at two different goals, or too young to handle the responsibilities of what a great relationship needs.

Am I alone in this thought? Am I not thinking of all of the variables? Am I truly a hopeless romantic?

Tales from a High School Reunion

So recently I went to a my highschool reunion (no, I will not share which one) and the most amusing thing happened - it was straight out of a lifetime movie. So, I'm standing up at the bar with an old friend of mine, ordering a drink (big suprise there. ha!) and someone comes up from behind me and gives me the biggest hug - exclaiming "How are you!?!?!" I turn to him, in shock - realizing it was the captain of the football team, and just say smugly, hi - do you know who I am (because I was a bit of a ummm smarty pants in high school) and he says, "Yes, you are the girl I always wanted in high school." To which my friend and I burst out laughing (I swear - I was almost in tears) and, oh so politely said, "you are full of shit." His response "I only speak the truth" and while I walked away, I saw him turn away and seek the solice of some floozy on the dance floor. So, this message is to all you girls out there in high school who aren't afraid of being the smart one but fear you aren't worthy of the hot guys - the reality is, the hot guys aren't worthy of you. Some day, they will get their heads out of their asses - and if not, they are never really worth your time anyways. Trust me women - don't settle. (Though that is a whole nother blog entry...)

The things we do...

So all women do dumb things in the name of "love" or maybe in the name of "lust" or some times even just for attention. One evening, yes this is another "Wednesday" story, KT & I were out and about and I ended up meeting and hanging out with this seemingly great guy - well we hung out and me being the not so smart girl that I can be sometimes, ended up slamming my finger in my car door, somewhere along the way. Didn't think much of it at the time - but the next day my new prince charming had to take me to the emergency room - broken finger - all in the name of love, well more likely all in the name of attention. Now the guy is gone and all I'm left with is a disgusting scar and a finger nail that is about to fall off. Nice job lilwaldo.

My story

I've had my fair share of dates in our beautiful Emerald City... some good, some not so good, and some that were just forgettable. I must say, my favorite story to tell is about the guy who knocked my socks off the first time I met him. I was checking him out as he was going up the escalator in one of the buildings downtown. Apparently, I wasn't too sly about it because his friend caught me, and well... the guy I was checking out came down to talk to me. (Bonus points for that... it seems guys don't do that around here much.) We get along well, he's funny, cute, dresses well, articulate.. has all his teeth... and he seals the deal! We're goin on a date -- to a comedy club.. should be fun. The date comes and it starts out bad and goes to worse. Apparently, the day I met him was a special day since he shows up in navy blue slacks with a navy blue silk mock neck button up shirt -- tucked in with no belt and black shoes. If he were wearing a gold chain over the top of the shirt.. it would have perfected the look. But, that can be worked on, so we go out. Get to the comedy club where he proceeds to touch me at every given chance. And his hands are clammy... ok ok. Maybe he was nervous, but I was hoping my body language would give it away that I wasn't stoked on him touching me so much. Nope. Not even a good ol' "so, I'm really not into cuddling on a first date" would sway this guy. By the time we got back to my house, I was ready to jump out of the car and run inside. But, as I was making my getaway, he wanted to pull the 'gentleman' card and 'walk me to the door'... crap. The guy would not leave. THEN.... he tries to plant a sloppy one on me... I should have slapped him... but I was so taken off guard that I could barely get through the kiss..... what I wouldn't give to have the guy actually turn out to be halfway decent. Where are they??

Why is it impossible to find good men?

So, I've posed this question on a few friends of mine (giving them a 30 world limit) and here are some of the responses.

Question: Why is it so impossible to find good men?

• Because they have to grow up first - and they're hard to find in Seattle because they make you do all the looking.
  
• Good men do good things, and good things co-exist with humble personalities. Humble, truly good people are the background of every kind act, but the act is what is seen, not the person
• Good men are taken.
  
  

How many of you all....

So, I'd also like to start things off with a little question for all the ladies out there - how many of you all have met a man (particularly here in Seattle) that you thought was FABULOUS to start with, but then, you realize - he's not worth an ounce of your energy? Right now the tally is getting a bit to high to count (you know one is bad when they get a nose bleed and you think its cause the air is dry but no, its really from the coke they did a few nights before, sigh). But, the reality of the situation many of you women out there have great stories to tell, and we'd love to hear them, so please post!!!

One story - to get this blog started.

So. To get things started, KT & I thought we would share a little story to show how this blog came about. Recently, I heard a new theory from a "friend" of mine. His whole theory was that if two people really liked eachother, right off the bat, then why shouldn't they start sleeping together, immediatley, why wait around and get to know eachother. At first this seemed to be an interesting thought - but then I thought, if its really worth it, then why not take your time and actually get to know one another? Things are always much better when you do wait, so why rush things. Which only spurred further questions. Which then lead me to realize - he really was only saying these things so that he could take me home and get what he really wanted. (And once I told his theory to other guy friends of mine all their first reactions was, what a f'ing line...) And since that wasn't going to happen any time soon - I just became a big challenge to him. And while I like challenges this wasn't one that I was about to take on any time soon and was also a breaking point for me - how many of these men do I have to keep on meeting? Time will tell, for both KT and lilwaldo, but please feel free to check into our blog and keep up to date with the insanity we like to call the KT and Lil show. We promise, it will be nothing less than entertaining.